The Master’s Message
“We started to sign them in August”.
Each of the 3,000 Dick Whittington Christmas Cards was inscribed
From John and from Lesley
John is the Lord Mayor of London : Lesley is the Lady Mayoress.
When at our Banquet in January the Lord Mayor spoke, it was his sixth speech that day – with six more to come on the morrow. The Lord Mayor has two speech writers. At the beginning of his year of office, the Lord Mayor gave them two or three paragraphs he had written, plus a few jokes that he was happy with the speech writers. It was then up to the speech writers to interleave appropriate phrases for Mayoral visits to China, Pakistan and then the Channel Islands
I had been briefed abut the etiquette concerning our Banquet but not fully enough. As we all sat looking at our smoked salmon starters, the Lord Mayor gently nudged my arm. “We can't start till you do, Master – but if you don't like it just put your knife and fork on the plate – that'll be enough”.
In the days after the meal came the letters of thanks, each – I was told this was essential – to be handwritten and sealed in separate envelopes. The Lord Mayor and the Lady Mayoress write separate letters. They always clear the day's backlog before they go to bed.
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The river Thames froze in 1564 – the Thames was wider then and somewhat cleaner. Global warming had not been invented. In that year, a Frost Fair was organised and an ox was roasted on the ice.
I never knew that every December this event was commemorated. At 11am on the 16 th December 2006, Watermen's Cutters, in full livery, rowed from London Bridge to Millennium Bridge where they tossed oars – whatever that means – and landed at Bankside Pier.
The 16th December 2006 was cold and wet – suitable only for mad dogs and Englishmen. I kept warm elsewhere.
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Last March 22 intrepid souls went on the Company's visit to the Magic Circle.
“For my next trick can I have a volunteer from the front row?....Thank you, Sir…..Now I want you to take this piece of paper and this envelope…..That's fine…..Can you now recall the first animal you ever kept as a pet…..and its name.
Can you now write that down on the paper…..fold it in half and seal it in the envelope…..I'll now put the envelope on the table up here.
Think hard, Sir, of the animal…..visualise it…..Yes, I feel pricks…..I sense the colour brown…..Brown pricks…..No, brown spikes. You don't say. It wasn't a hedgehog was it?..... It was…..
Now his name…..I think it might have been something like Harry…..No, Henry. I'll now open your envelope just to check. Yes, Henry the hedgehog: how nice! Thank you…..Thank you all so much.
Now you, Sir perhaps you'd be good enough to take this piece of paper and this envelope……
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The Dinner in York was a great success. The RH The Lord Mayor of York was our guest. She ranks No. 2 in the pecking order of Lord Mayors in the land, with only London to be bowed to.
As our guest had always been an Independent on the York Council I felt it safe during the Dinner to bemoan the Tory capture of the Winchester City Council – leading, as it has, to cuts in the grants to the Theatre Royal and to Meals on Wheels and to the selling off of historic properties.
The Mayor was not surprised. York is ruled by Labour. They were doing exactly the same in York.
Plus la difference, plus c'est la meme chose.
E-mail Status – urgent
Would I like to contribute to the cost of sending to Windsor Castle a special birthday card for HRH? She's 81. Refusal makes one feel such a republican cad.
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Thank you for electing me for this year. Often it's very time-consuming, but its fun.
Donald Valentine
The Master